Normal Thoughts Return

Well it's been two days and I am still in a bit of emotional pain, but the pain is lessened. I am going to try and go for a streak. I didn't cry at all today. Let's see if I can keep that streak alive. I actually laughed while listening to the Adam Carolla show this morning. There was a Black Ford focus and a cream colored Chrysler 300 that were parked on the shoulder of I-440 at Nolensville Rd. A stereotypical "hillbilly" complete with a snowy white 12 inch beard and overalls comes out of the Focus and a 40-something guy comes out of the 300 and they start arguing and pointing at each other. It was some kind of road rage incident. An older (60-65 year old) TDOT guy comes out on site (we're across the interstate) and he points this out to me -a scene I would have otherwise ignored. He says, in his southern old-timey drawl "look at them they're fixin to start swinging" I thought they were going to get in a fight. His southern charm and humor rubbed off on me and I laughed - a real laugh.

I was able to concentrate on my work today, whereas I was not able to yesterday. I started feeling a little better. Yesterday I was a lot worse. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Everything I did reminded me of her (S).

  • Driving down Nolensville, I passed by the zoo. We were previously making plans to go to the zoo. 
  • I saw a Radnor Lake license plate and could see the Radnor Lake hills from I-440 as I was driving west to West End. We had previously planned on going to Radnor Lake together. 
  • My ex wife complained to me that "Netflix sucks" because they didn't have certain movies that she liked (Twilight and Bridesmaids) -Me and S watched bridesmaids at her house on Saturday. 
  • My ex wife asked me to bring her sushi, and me and S went out to Samurai on Elliston on Friday.  

:( Nothing I could do would let me forget her.

When I get dealt crushing emotional blows like this, like on Sunday, when S sent me the Dear John letter via Facebook messages, I start reaching out to my friends. And my friends were there to catch me. Via FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Skype, phone calls, Facebook posts, and text messages. I would be in a very different place right now had they not been there to break my fall and offer their hands to help me up.

The ex wife (She's a part of the support group as crazy as that sounds) gives me an idea. She says "Hey lets argue about something - that'll take your mind off her." -She was right.

I finally ate my first bite of food last night since S and me were out on Saturday at Cabanna. I finally slept last night, whereas on Sunday night I didn't sleep at all.

Music helps. Just not music that we shared. Like special songs with meaning.

I've been here before. I know the way back up the mountain. I will make that climb.

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