You can't make this stuff up

You can't make this stuff up
Originally uploaded by phoebeofthesea

Found this in my Bible Belt group. Hilarious!

Oil Barons

Exxon Mobil sets record with $45.2 billion profit

Since this is an AP story and the AP are total asshats when it comes to fair use I won't repost here. I won't even Link to their pathetic story but I will trust anyone reading this to do a google search of the above headline. Its sickening.

Can the oil companies now bailout the auto industry? The Auto industry has bent over backwards over the last 40 years for these oil companies. I would think they owe them one.

Bonuses

In 2008 DJIA Lost 34% of its entire worth, or $7 Trillion (7.0 x 10^12) Just to put that number into perspective, if you had a really big yardstick, that reached to the moon; 240,000 miles away; And every single inch of that yardstick was a stack of money with $460.33, that would equal $7T.

Bearing that in mind, failed Wall Street firms who took our tax money with open palms cause they were "too big to fail" have decided to pay out $18 Billion in bonuses. If this is taxpayer money these crooks should have to reach in to their pockets and put that money back. If they can't afford to make the payment on one of their mansions in the Hamptons, they should reach into their savings like the rest of America, or tighten their belts like the rest of us. These crooks live in a world to their own. In the worst year on Wall Street history since 1931, these people pay out bonuses that rank 6th, $18B.

On top of that Citibank tried to buy another corporate jet for $50M after receiving an infusion of cash from us taxpayers reference. If these idiots had any sense they would at least suck it up and fly ...first class. When some companies are sucking it up and knocking First class down to coach.

President Obama steps in and says something similar to "WTF are you thinking?!?" I feel as if we finally have someone in charge who isn't going to be in bed with these rich pigs and also isn't going to put up with any shit. I am a dreamer yes, but I just get that feeling from him. I have to laugh at when the right wing tried to paint him as an "elitist".

President Obama says "No you can't" :)

People who do not deserve to have kids - issue 3

Father throws four year old girl off a bridge to her death

Father 'suicidal' after girl thrown from bridge

Posted Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:19pm AEDT
Updated Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:48pm AEDT

The father of a four-year-old Melbourne girl thrown from a bridge this morning was suffering from acute psychiatric distress and was suicidal, a court has been told.

It is alleged the 35-year-old Hawthorn man threw the girl off the Westgate Bridge in Melbourne this morning and he has been charged with her murder.

Police say witnesses reported seeing a man stop his white Landcruiser near the top of the bridge and throw the child over the side about 9:00am AEDT.

About 10 minutes later, water police pulled the girl from the Yarra River near the Scienceworks Technology Museum, close to the Spotswood pumping station.

Paramedics then spent 45 minutes trying to revive her on the riverbank. She was flown to the Royal Children's Hospital, where she later died.

The man did not appear in the dock of the Melbourne Magistrates Court and the court heard he was suicidal and suffering from acute psychiatric distress.

He was remanded in custody to reappear in court in May.

'You just shudder'

Police say when the man was arrested he was with two other children, aged six and eight, and was visibly distressed.

Detective Inspector Steve Clark says the mother of the dead girl has been informed.

"It's a dreadful set of circumstances, and often you think you've seen it all but you haven't," Detective Inspector Clark said.

"It's particularly distressing obviously for family members but for the witnesses who saw what occurred, a number of those people are upset and I've got a number of police here who have young children themselves, who have had to deal with it."

Police want witnesses to the incident to contact them.

Victorian Premier John Brumby says the incident is a terrible tragedy.

"It's such a horrible thing to happen to the child," he said.

"As a father I think, what are the circumstances that could possibly bring this about? I just shuddered when I heard about it ... you just shudder, you just think, how can that happen?"

Joe Knows

PinnacleAndat&treflect (1)
Originally uploaded by Chris1051

New photosets uploaded to flickr.

(Hint look at the bottom of the photo for blog post naming solution)

Answer: Joes Crab Shack on 2nd Ave.

People Who do not deserve to have kids - issue 2

5 children, mother fatally shot in Wilmington

Police found notes inside the house in which the gunman referred to "job and work-related issues," police said

By Andrew Blankstein, Richard Winton and Ruben Vives, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
10:09 AM PST, January 27, 2009

Five children under age 10 and their mother were fatally shot inside a Wilmington home this morning, according to the Los Angeles Police Department.

Police said that the assailant appeared to be the children's father and that he apparently committed suicide after calling a news media outlet. The organization, which was not immediately named, then contacted authorities, police said.

The LAPD was dispatched to the 1000 block of McFarland Avenue at 8:22 a.m. Officer Sam Park said the man apparently committed suicide.

"He called 911 and said his family was dead inside," Park said. "We responded. We have multiple victims inside of the house, and at this point we don't know how many."

Police said the children were an 8-year-old girl, a set of 5-year-old girl twins and a set of 2-year-old boy twins. Deputy Chief Kenneth Garner said police found notes inside the house in which gunman referred to "job and work-related issues."

"This was a financial and job related issue that led to the slayings," Garner said. "I these tough economic times, there are other options. In my 32 years, I've never seen anything like this."

The bodies were found around the house and were shot with a revolver.

The stupid: It burns!

When eating Chinese today I overheard a woman say "they found human footprints with dinosaurs" pointing to that as evidence of creationism. I did some digging and found it to be -as I suspected - a hoax. The man who found it was a man with faulty credentials and has been behind every creationist hoax in the last 30 years. When asked if the piece can be examined and held to scientific scrutiny the creationists withhold the peice and at the same time claim scientists don't want to examine their "evidence". On this link http://bit.ly/3lmMSg Ed Darrell says it best: "When the facts show a scientist to be in error, the scientist admits error and issues a correction. When the facts show a creationist to be in error, the creationist yells louder and does his best to get to the mail box and send more copies of the error out, before the truth can be known. That's a significant difference in
behavior, and ethics." (I can't say much more since an MMS only allows 1000 characters)

Awesomeness

I submitted a photo to Wordsplosion. And they posted it.

That is all.

People who do not deserve to have kids - issue 1

I am starting up this series again. Today's issue goes to a Jacqueline Crank who lives right here in the bible belt of Tennessee. (hat tip to Thaddeus) I will republish it here since it is not an AP story.

Lady allows child to die. Places faith in faith (no pun intended) instead of modern science

LOUDON - A mother accused of neglecting her dying daughter by turning to prayer instead of medicine took to the witness stand Monday clutching her defense in her hands.

"I decided to turn to Jesus Christ, my lord and savior, for her healing, believing in this word," Jacqueline Crank testified as she held up the Bible she brought with her to Loudon County Criminal Court.

She expects to carry that same Bible all the way to the state Supreme Court, where nearly everyone involved in this landmark Tennessee case of prayer versus medicine agrees it will wind up.

Crank and her two children, including 15-year-old Jessica Crank, were living communal style with Jessica's self-professed "spiritual father," Ariel Ben Sherman, and other members of a branch of the Universal Life Church in Loudon in May 2002 when Crank took her daughter to a clinic because the girl had a large tumor on her shoulder.

Clinic personnel advised Crank to take her daughter to the University of Tennessee Medical Center. She didn't. Jessica later died from a rare form of bone cancer known as Ewing sarcoma.

Crank and Sherman wound up charged. Much legal wrangling followed. The case now has been whittled down to its core issue: Is Tennessee's law allowing parents to put their faith - and their children's health - in God's hands too vague to be valid?

Defense attorney Gregory P. Isaacs and Sherman's attorneys, Donald A. Bosch and Ann Short-Bowers, contend the law is silent on when a parent relying on faith can be held criminally responsible for that decision.

"Our state does not delineate whether you can try to heal your child of the common cold through prayer alone but you cannot try to heal your child of Ewing sarcoma through prayer," Isaacs argued.

Assistant District Attorney General Frank Harvey tried to steer the argument toward wording in the law that allows parents to follow the tenets of a "recognized" church headed by a "duly accredited practitioner."

Harvey contends Sherman is not a minister but a cult leader, an allegation Sherman has faced for decades in a host of states where he has set up house with followers but has steadfastly denied.

"The religion in question is Christianity," Bosch countered.

Isaacs echoed that argument with a reference to Christ and his disciples.

"I wonder if 12 people having supper with someone they consider to be the messiah who were not part of the establishment, the Sanhedrin, would that be considered a cult?" he said.

Judge Eugene Eblen declined Monday to dismiss the charges but is allowing an emergency appeal to the state Court of Criminal Appeals. In his view, it will take a decision from the state's highest court to determine whether Crank and Sherman can be tried under Tennessee law.

The pair now live in South Carolina with Crank's teenage son and at least four of Sherman's parishioners.

Jamie Satterfield may be reached at 865-342-6308.

© 2009, Knoxville News Sentinel Co.

Chris Matthews nails it dead on!

Quote of the day

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion."

(Steven Weinberg / born 1933 / Nobel Laureate in physics)

Side Straddle Hop

Hilarious! Allegedly of the Iraqi army

Newest N810 screenshot

screenshot08
Originally uploaded by Chris1051

Newest screenshot. I used the photo I took on New Years Eve when I was stuck in traffic on 3rd & Church. I have Foreca & omweather side by side.

con•tra•dic•tion

I was scanning the newest additions to the Bible Belt Group. I was contemplating removing some non-related photos, but decided to let them be. Came across a tard holding a sign. (I can never stop laughing at these people)

I had to look up the verse again, and I noticed that it, being contradicting to other parts of the bible, you know, that unshakable book of "truth".

Lets read what it says about gays in Leviticus:

Leviticus 20:13

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

So if you are gay, the bible says you should be put to death. And if you kill them it won't be wrong, and you won't get in trouble cause their blood is upon their hands. Such a great moral code to live by!


Contrast that with Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

It doesn't mention gays specifically, but it lists off a lot of other people - which are

• fornicators (a HUGE list, if compiled would empty 70% of the churches in the south)
• idolaters (ok, so anyone who owns a crucifix you are gonna BURN!)
• adulterers (goes in line with the first one)
• effeminate (possibly a mention of gays, I honestly can't figure this one out -Ted Haggard, can you help me out here?)
• abusers of themselves (Wondering if this is talking about masturbation.
• thieves (see below)
• covetous (90% of Americans who keep up with the Joneses are goin to hell!)
• drunkards (would empty a whole shitload of church pews)
• revilers (this one actually makes sense. Something that you shouldn't do as a human being. (gay bashing bible nuts, can you take some notes here?)
• extortioners (again, actually a good idea to not do this. As with anything in the bible, only 10% of it makes sense -is practical and has good rules to live by. While the other 90% is garbage.

So back to number six. Have a read of

Mark 15:27
And with him they crucify two thieves; the one on his right hand, and the other on his left.

Luke 23:32-43
And there were also two other, malefactors , led with him to be put to death.
.....
And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

So can thieves get into heaven? No one knows for sure.

Oh hell no

I had to replace that bandaid that the Dr. placed on it this morning. After the insane pain I had taking off the gauze pad Friday. I didn't want to take any chances. The absorbtion of the gauze made it stick to the foot and it made removal painful. Band aids make better bandages because they do not stick to the wound. So after the 1.5 miniute consultation I was free to go. I noticed the same smiling Oprah staring at me as I put my shoes back on. The first thought in my head was "oh yeah this motherfucker is coming off" (the bandage he put on). So in the above photo you have the new bandaid on it. Explanation of the title of this post: I didn't want to have a bandage on that was going to stick. (apologies, this was written from my mobile phone. )

Prayer

Its always a nice gesture to offer prayer to someone. It shows empathy. But here's one thing it doesn't do. It doesn't actually work. I have often been offered prayers and politely smile and nod and say thank you. But I think praying offers false hope to someone who is in a real-world struggle for their life. Cancer victims for example.

I read the horrifying yet false story that demeans people and guilts them into being a "real Christian". I had to offer my thoughts.

Propagating the myth that is that "atheist girl story" Is the ass-hattery of John Michael Montgomery and his song "The Little Girl".

Something is wrong with this picture

The AFA, a hate filled hate-speech promoting, religious organization, are asking for "Tax deductible" donations. Why do these morons still have tax exempt status. They promote a political agenda. In one breath they condemn "homosexual promotion" by Campbell's Soup company and in the next ask for a tax deductible donation.

I get their emails to snoop on them. Also so I can use their form to "send a letter" to these companies letting them know how much I appreciate them for standing up to the religious right. I used their "send a letter telling them how outraged you are" links several times to send a letter of thanks. I encourage every one to do this.

Its incredible, in an email dated 27th Nov. They accuse the "gays" of "launching a hate attack" on the Mormons.

Its pretty entertaining to read this stuff. If you can stomach it.

Ow

Word of the day: Owwwwww. Day after the forceful slicing of my toenail by an unapologetic and methodical Dr. Ok, I'm exaggerating. But it kind of hurts. So there really is nothing for me to do except watch Rocketboom and Geek Brief and video podcasts. Kind of taking it easy.

Priorities Out Of Order

I don't get how its a good idea to build a special road for a sporting venue (NASCAR) but when it comes to the commerce of this state, we can't have the final plans of 840 completed. I'll admit ignorance to the details of the reason why the north corridor of 840 failed, but in my humble opinion politics should take a back seat to the needs of the people. (i.e. the taxpayers, i.e. the people who pay their salary) just my opinion of course.

Laughing my ass off

Sorry about the bad audio quality here but this is hilarious!